


The Newlywed Game

by OnlyTheInevitable



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Fake Dating, Fake Marriage, Flirting, Fluff, The Newlywed Game, UST, aka season four but before the angst, cuteness, early season, real yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2020-03-20 04:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18985135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyTheInevitable/pseuds/OnlyTheInevitable
Summary: While going out for dinner, Scully runs into an ex and Mulder valliantly pretends to be her husband. However, that little lie traps them into having to play the Newlywed Game in front of a bunch of strangers and they have to navigate admitting feelings they haven't even admitted to themselves.





	1. Let the Games Begin

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to the always wonderful, always supportive Brandy (@dbebrandy) who was AMAZINGLY GENEROUS and helped me get some awesome merch when I couldn't. My grattitude is endless.

Part of her should have known that burying her face in the menu and crouching wouldn’t have gone unnoticed by Mulder. Nothing ever did. It was just her first instinctual move when she saw her ex walk into the bar. He looked good, smiling, a young girl hanging off his arm like a trophy. Maybe they were celebrating her high school graduation.

_ Fucking asshole. _

She didn’t want to draw any attention to him, or herself, but she heard a gentle  _ psst _ , and she peeked around her menu to see Mulder mimicking her. “What are we hiding from?” he whispered.

How Mulder of him, following her on simple blind faith. She was just as embarrassed at her frivolous desire to go unnoticed by her ex as she was irritated that it had to happen on one of the rare nights Mulder and her stayed so late they ended up getting dinner together. Quality time with him without mentionings of chupacabras or paranormal activities were few and far between, not only that, but last week had been so hard on him with the Roche case - and she felt like he was finally getting back to his old self. “It’s stupid,” she whispered back, but not moving to let her face be seen. 

“Scull-ee,” he whined. “Tell me.”

She rolled her eyes before peering over again, “An old boyfriend of mine is here and I don’t want him to see me.”

“Did he do something to you?” Mulder asked, still confused by her out of character actions.

“No,” she corrected, raising her voice a little. “The break-up was just awkward and I don’t want him to-”

“Dana Scully, as I live and breathe,” she heard a familiar tenor proclaim in faux enthusiasm. 

With a sigh, she let the menu fall and she was met with the sight of Paul Staehle standing in front of her with a boastful smile and a protective-puppy Mulder glaring across from her. “Hi, Paul,” she sighed, putting the menu down. “How are you?”

“I’m fantastic. I’m here with my girlfriend,” he boasted. “What about you, Dana? Is this a colleague?” He was clearly teasing her and she simply drew in a breath to conceal her reaction.

“Y-”

“No,” Mulder interrupted, drawing both the parties attentions to him. He smiled the most radiant smile she’d ever seen on his face as he reached across the table and grabbed her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. “I’m her husband.”

She felt her eyes widen involuntarily as a waiter walked passed and filled their cups, oblivious to the tension. “Married? Really? Since when?” Paul asked.

“Six months ago,” Mulder answered, his voice barely concealing his happiness. He was such a good actor it was startling. “But we’ve been together for a little over four years now.”

“Where’s your ring?” Paul asked accusatory, trying to catch them in a lie. 

“In Dana’s line of work, it’s dangerous to wear it. She keeps it close to her, but it’s personal,” Mulder informed seriously, so convincing she could even believe it. She was still reeling from hearing her name and those words come out of his mouth when she heard Paul’s disbelieving grunt. 

“Huh, well Dana. I never thought I’d see you like this. You were always so...frigid. I’m glad to see you’ve chilled out,” he smiled, as if that was actually a compliment.

“You should probably get back to your date,” she responded evenly. 

They both watched him leave and Scully turned to Mulder with a raised eyebrow. “Married?” she repeated.

He shrugged his shoulders like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar, “You looked upset, so I wanted to help.” He noticed he was still grabbing her hand and shyly let go, with a little laugh. “So, why was the breakup awkward?” he asked.

“Because I told him I realized I was a lesbian,”she deadpanned honestly.

A look of embarrassed shock passed over his face and he incredulously asked, “Y-you what?”

She smiled at his expression before explaining, “I know it was awful of me, you should never use someone else's sexual identity like that, but he was so  _ weird.” _

“Weird’s not your thing?” he asked, sounding exaggeratedly disappointed, but she could tell the disappointment was real. 

“I like my weird on the spooky side, not the borderline stalker type,” she laughed, taking a sip of water to avoid his eyes while he digested that. 

“So you told him you were a lesbian?”

She blushed lightly at her youthful antics, “Well,” she chuckled in embarrassment, brushing her hair behind her ear. “In my defense, I was in high school, so blame it on childish foolishness. I wasn’t receptive to his  _ advances _ and when I told him I just wanted to focus on my schoolwork he fetishized it.”

“Smart is sexy,” he mimicked.

She exhaled a small laugh, “Not like that, more like the sexy school girl fetish.” 

“Oh,” he said, his eyebrows shooting up. “How did the lesbian route possibly stop that from happening?"

“Oh, I’m sure he thought about it a lot with his hand, but he left me alone,” she chuckled. “And - nevermind,” she laughed, shaking her head.

“What?” he asked, fully curious.

“I asked one of my friends to pretend to be my girlfriend, so anytime he came around, she’d be all over me,” she explained, blushing. 

“Scully, I don’t mean to sound like a caveman, or objectify women of that community, but how did that possibly stop him from following you?” 

She smiled at his honesty. “Because she could have gotten in a fight with Hulk Hogan and come out without a scratch.”

They both started laughing when the waiter from earlier came back over, but instead of re-filling, he gave them a look that could rival a car salesman. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but did I hear you guys say you were married?”

“N-” she started correcting.

“You sure did,” Mulder beamed, sending a teasing look to Scully.

“Oh thank god,” the young boy exhaled in relief, much to their confusion. He must’ve caught sight of their curious expressions when he explained, “We were hosting a Newlywed’s Game here tonight, but the couples didn’t show. There are people who came just for the event and we don’t know what to do, and I’m getting in trouble - and I really, really, really, really need you guys to say yes,” he rambled, wearing a sheen of sweat acting as an attestment to his anxiety.

“Yes to what?” Scully asked skeptically.

“Will you guys be the couple of the night and play?”

Scully laughed and gently responded, “No, no. I’m sorry.” She was surprised to see there were two disappointed faces looking back at her rather than just one.

“Come on,” he drew out, pouting his lip like a little kid in the hopes that if he endeared her, she’d agree. “It’d be fun.”

“Mulder,” she chastised, “You’ve never remembered my birthday for the past three I’ve had with you. I’m just sparing you embarrassment.”

“Scully, have you met me? When have I ever shied away from public ridicule?” he smiled. “Come on, let’s do it”

“No,” she stated plainly, looking at the menu while trying to ignore his attempts and the waiter’s desperation.

“The prize for the winning couple was a year’s worth of free pies, and since you would be the only couple, if you say yes it’s a guarantee,” the teenage boy offered.

“Scully, the pie. If not for me, do it for the sweet goodness,” Mulder pleaded.

She had to admit, as selfish as it was, she was kind of excited to hear Mulder try to answer personal questions about her. He was so absorbed sometimes that she was honestly curious how much he did know about her. That, and she simply couldn’t resist the puppy dog eyes he was giving her. “Fine,” she sighed relenting, snapping her menu shut and standing up.

She had to bite back a smile at the beaming grin that passed over Mulder’s face. Despite his relentlessness, he apparently hadn’t expected she’d conceed. However, her smile quickly disappeared as she followed the boy to the impromptu stage. All it consisted of was two barstools with dry erase boards, markers, and hand towels sitting on top - the finishing touch being a microphone standing proudly in between.

She made sure to send Mulder a few pointed glances as she settled into the chair, gathering the materials on her lap. The lights dimmed as the boy spoke into the microphone and it made it impossible to see how many people were actually out in the audience, or even, how many were actually paying attention. She didn’t know if that made her feel better or worse, but she didn’t spend much time worrying about it as she focused on the boy’s words. This was moving too fast and she was already regretting saying yes.

“Lucky for us, we were able to find a newlywed couple to step up and play for us all! So let’s allow them to introduce themselves.” He turned and gestured to Mulder.

He sat up in his chair and she got a little enjoyment seeing that, despite his previous confidence, he was just as uncomfortable being up here as she was. “Oh, uh, hello. My name’s Fox Mulder and this is my  _ wife,  _ Dana Sc-Mulder.”  

She saw the way his lips twitched when he said wife and called her by his surname and she tried to stop herself from seeing what she wanted to see. “And how long have you been married?” he asked, turning to her.

“Uh, six months,” she stumbled, appreciative that their fumbling could be blamed on the newness of their relationship and not the compulsive lying it was. 

“Congratulations! So, we’ve compiled some questions from the audience and a few of our staff and, customers, if you want to participate, write down your prediction on who will win and, if you’re right, your meal will be half off! Okay, so, for those that don’t know, we’ll simply be asking different types of questions and we want to see either who is right, or if they are able to agree. So, let’s begin,” he exclaimed, grabbing a folded piece of paper out of a bowl. “Where did you go on your first date?”

Scully pursed her lips in thought as Mulder started writing immediately.  _ How was he writing like he already knew? It hadn’t even happened.  _ She wasn’t sure if he was just making something up, or if he was writing where he would take her? She felt a blush creep across her cheeks when she wrote ‘Chinese takeout at his place’, as far as she was aware, that was the first thing they’d ever done off the clock together, so it probably counted. 

“What did you put Mrs. Mulder?” 

“Yeah, what’d you put  _ Mrs. Mulder?”  _ Mulder teased, enjoying this far too much in her opinion.

“Um,” she started, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear nervously. “Chinese at his place,” she murmured, turning her board around.

Mulder smiled sweetly at her and she instantly knew that wasn’t what he’d put and she felt exposed. Every part of her wanted to whisper that she hadn’t actually considered it a date. She just thought-

“Bellefleur, Oregon. A romantic walk through the rain,” Mulder laughed, with similar chagrin she’d been feeling. She smiled and giggled lightly at the fact he’d put their first case. 

“Oh yeah,” she mused, pretending like she’d simply forgotten such a strange first date.

The announcer seemed confused, and she could hear the audience chattering amongst themselves, speculating how walking through the rain could be a date. “Um, hahaha,” the announcer awkwardly laughed, “Okay, uh so. Next question.”

This was going to be a long night.


	2. Inquisition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More questions, more awkward fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all your amazing questions! I still have quite a few on hand for the next chapter, but feel free to submit more!!

Scully gently wiped away her previous answer as the next question sank in. “What is your spouse’s most annoying habit?” she was glad when Mulder didn’t jump to answer the question like he had last time. If he didn’t have to give this one some thought, she would have been a little offended. He was probably just as anxious as she was being their answers to the last question established they weren’t just making things up. This was Mulder answering as Mulder and Scully answering as Scully - an intimate evaluation of very personal feelings. **  
**

She looked up to glance at Mulder, hoping looking at him might spark some inspiration for an answer. Apparently he’d been thinking the same thing as their eyes met before nervously looking away again. Then it struck her like the most obvious thing in the world and she wrote down her answer confidently.

“So, Fox, what did you put?” Mulder’s brow quirked at the name, but he turned it around without correction.

_She never likes my ideas :(_

Sad face and all. When he read it outloud, he even comically pouted his bottom lip, making her burst into laughter which the audience quickly followed. They probably assumed she didn’t like his proposed ideas for their kitchen plan, not his idea that the Abominable Snowman is a direct relative of Sasquatch. “Is yours any better?” he asked through the laughter.

Suddenly she wished she hadn’t been so honest. Her’s was a different tone and she wished she had thought of something funnier. With a nervous purse of her lips she flipped her board.

_He’s too hard on himself._

He gave her a small grin and nod of self recognition and joked, “Because my wife never likes my ideas.”

She rolled her eyes and earned a chuckle as the next question was pulled from a bowl. The waiter unfolded the sheet of paper and a mischievous grin broke out across his face. “What physical feature of your spouse do you find the most attractive?”

“Just one?” Mulder asked, making everyone laugh while she hid a smile and looked down.

“Just one, the one feature that gets you going more than anything,” he informed enthusiastically.

She definitely could have done just fine without that little description. It took simple admiration to an obvious sexual attraction - an attraction she and Mulder had spent so long ignoring. Even though she was embarrassed, she knew exactly what it was. Apparently Mulder had been taking another inventory of her and caught her enthusiasm, as he made a little pleased sound that made her look up. A blush tainted her face while he cocked a teasing brow at her.

She just let out a breathy laugh and shrugged. He smiled back and spent a moment filling up his board. “You answered pretty fast there, Dana. Wanna share your answer?”

_His forearms_

She saw a look of surprise pass his face as he glanced down at his forearms before looking back at her, a beaming smile cracking his face. “I had no idea,” he mused, flexing for her.

“Stop teasing me,” she commanded, temporarily putting the board over her face to hide her embarrassment. By the time she lowered it, he’d flipped his board.

_Her lips or her eyes. I can’t choose one._

He was staring at her with a look of adoration and it made her breath catch in her throat. He looked just as shy and embarrassed as she was and she wasn’t alone. “Some may say that’s cheating, but I understand how it might have been hard to choose just one,” the announcer boasted, pulling their attention back.

“Hey,” Mulder stated, “That’s my wife you’re talking about.” The announcer put his hands up in mock surrender while the audience laughed at Mulder’s protectiveness.

“Describe your spouse when they wake up in the morning in three words,” he proclaimed before turning to Mulder and adding, “only three.”

Immediately she was taken back to years of walking down to the basement every morning. Mulder’d been there far earlier than he needed to be; sometimes making her question if he went home at all. His smile was lazy as if it was still weighed down from sleep, he smelled like aftershave and whatever shower gels he used, and everything about him was so eager, ready to share with her whatever theory he’d been pondering since she left the day earlier.

She thought carefully before writing her answer, flipping it around as soon as she saw Mulder was done.

_Clean. Aromatically-pleasing. Sweet._

“Now who’s the cheater,” he smiled as his eyes read, re-read, and read again the words as if trying to decipher what she meant by them.

“Hey, I hyphenated,” she smiled in defense.

“May I ask what you mean by aromatically-pleasing?” the man at the corner of the stage asked.

She felt herself avoiding Mulder’s eyes as she explained this, now a little embarrassed by her answer regardless of how true it was, because all it came down to was her admitting Hey,  _Mulder. I smell you_. “Um, well, in the morning he usually has showered and shaved, so he just smells really fresh,” she shrugged.

“Sweet?” he asked, eager to capitalize on the explanations she was giving.

“You’re just, sweet, in the morning,” she stammered, “I don’t know. You just seem a bit happier and sometimes you’ll get me coffee, and, I don’t know, you’re sweet,” she rambled.

He nodded, taking that in, and then flipped his board over for her to read.

_Soft. Adorable. Sleepy._

She chuckled at the last one but focused on the prior two. “Soft?” she questioned.

“It’s like your Scully, but a softer version since you’re still waking up. Scully on low battery mode,” he laughed, his blush betraying the ease of his words.

“Scully?” someone said.

Mulder realized his slip up and covered it up by saying, “Her maiden name, we use it as a nickname.”

Part of her wanted to call him out for calling her adorable, but another part of her liked it. She didn’t have time to come to a decision as the next question was being read out. “Who instigated the first kiss?”

They locked eyes and the connection there was powerful. It felt like putting themselves was admitting they wanted to kiss the other person, but putting the other person felt like asking them to do it. What if they both put the same name? What does that say?

She broke the eye contact and stared at the daunting expanse of the board, she could see her own contemplation reflecting back on her. “Neither of you can remember the first kiss?” the announcer said incredulously.

“There were just so many at once,” Mulder replied while writing something.

 _“Oh_ ,” he drew out suggestively.

It would be him. The thought came to her powerfully as she wrote it down. She wasn’t sure what the circumstances would be, but he’d definitely be the one to kiss her first, he was just affectionate in that way. She’d just caught the fact she was thinking as if it was certainly going to happen when she saw her own name staring back at her.

“What?” she asked surprised, showing him her board.

“Looks like we have a disagreement,” the offhand voice said.

“I did not,” she admonished.

“You found me irresistable,” he teased. “Remember? I showed you my watch and you were so overcome with lust at the sight of my forearms that you-”

“Shut up!” she giggled, hiding her face in embarrassment. She was never going to live that down and she knew it.

“Is that right, Dana?”

She rolled her eyes and decided it was all fake, so she might as well conceded. “I forgot about that.”

“That’s a point for anyone on team Fox,” he called out to the audience. She personally had no idea how this game could have any sort of a scoring system, but a few people in the audience must have since they cheered. “Now for the next one: What is your favorite place to kiss on your spouse’s body?”

She really hoped that this free pie was worth it for Mulder because she wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out. Mulder, however, just nodded his head and wrote on his board. She supposed she couldn’t blame him. She’d had enough nightly fantasies to know exactly where she wanted to kiss him, exactly where she thought he’d have the strongest reaction, but she at least had the decency to pretend like she had to put some thought into it.

“Dana?” She looked up and saw Mulder actually had scooted forward on the edge of his seat, not bothering to hide his excitement about seeing her answer.

_Neck_

She heard the crowd fawning as the announcer made a joke, but all she could focus on through the hum of noise was the way Mulder’s nostrils flared as he visibly gulped, emphasizing that same area she’d thought about putting her mouth on so many times.

He was going to say her lips, she knew it and she was steeling herself against a visible reaction, but  _of course_  Mulder had to surprise her. She was so taken aback that she couldn’t keep the small gasp from escaping her mouth.

_Neck_

He cocked an eyebrow at her while she offered a small blush. She chose the neck because of the erotisism she felt behind it - being able to feel his pulse quicken beneath her tongue, the hum in his throat as he moaned, the way she was sure she could get his body to quiver by applying just the right amount of pressure and suction  _\- stop._

Mulder was smiling now and he must’ve been able to tell where her mind had wandered. She just couldn’t help but hope he chose neck for the same reason. “Okay, a switch in topic here!” the annoying voice called, giving her something else to focus on rather than the warmth pooling through her body.

“What is your spouse most afraid of?” Her gaze flitted to Mulder, hoping she could convey a warning not to get too dark, but he was already writing. Well, if he was going to be honest, she’d keep it up too. She didn’t know what he thought hers was, and she was nervous to see, but she couldn’t decide between his. He seemed like such a fearless man, but she knew his anxieties were deeply rooted. She just didn’t know what one to choose.

“Fox?”

_Her family getting hurt // Being Betrayed_

He was right, she should have known he would be. He’d witnessed her family being taken away from her enough times to know she was deathly afraid of it happening again. And the television radiation incident made it evident she was paranoid of him ever going back on her. Simply saying betrayed was a much better way to phrase it.

She smiled at him sweetly and hesitantly turned her own board around.

_Never finding out the truth // Losing me_

She could see she hit the nail on the head as he admitted, “yeah,” while rubbing the back of his neck.

“Never finding out the truth?” the announcer repeated in bewilderment. “The truth about what?” he asked.

“I don’t know, we haven’t found it yet,” Mulder replied, wiping the dry erase board clean.

The announcer chuckled uncomfortably before stating, “This is by far the strangest couple we’ve had participate, but anyway onto the next one.”

And then Scully swore her face turned a shade of red that was borderline unhealthy. She’d be more embarrassed if it wasn’t for the face Mulder looked the exact same.

“Who wants whoopie the most?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize I was a fool for not having this in Mulder's POV, so I'll do that next time!


	3. Whoopie

"Who wants whoopie most?"

He sat there and pretended to think about it for a moment lest the quickness of his answer make him look lascivious to Scully and everyone watching. This was, without a doubt, the easiest question they could have asked.  _Him, obviously._ If the stark increase in redheads in his videotapes since 1993 weren't enough of an indication, his numerous hand cramps he'd gotten at night and hours spent trying to avoid objectifying her at work when she wore skirts shorter than normal or blouses lower than usual attested to this very basic fact. He was enamoured with Scully. Her mind, her body, every single thing about her.

He was very acutely being reminded of that fact every moment they remained up on the stage pretending to be a couple. The fact Scully hadn't stormed off yet, or that she even agreed to this in the first place, continued to shock him. Then again, it was so in character for Scully to indulge him like this, and it was just another one of the things that endeared him about her.

Though he'd be lying if he didn't regret this just a little bit. It was hard seeing this side of her with the knowledge that it was all just a ruse. There was something soft about her right now, she was being gentle, laughing more, and he wished he could find a way to access this side of her without being under the guise of a weird situation where they were just playing pretend. Though part of him was curious how much they were really pretending.

He was being honest. As vulnerable and, at times, uncomfortable as it was, he didn't see the point in making up lies for this. Then again, he didn't anticipate it would take such an intimate turn, but regardless it seemed like she was answering honestly as well.

Which is why he was a little startled she was acting torn while trying to answer the question, taking far more time than one would when trying to pretend like the answer wasn't black and white. Surely-

"On the count of three, I want you guys to flip your boards at the same time," the announcer declared, breaking his train of thought.

Scully placed the cap of her marker back on and sent him a shy smile before flicking her eyes away. "Three-two-one."

_Me_

_Me_

He let out a huff of laughter before actually registering what she'd written, then all joking faltered as he stared at her in surprise. He would have assumed she was just trying to be nice and spare his feelings if it weren't for the shy quirk of her lips and her overall timid behavior. She was honest and she wrote herself. He was having a hard time reconciling those two sentiments together. He felt like he made it fairly obvious that he was attracted to her, yet here she was still saying that she wanted him more. He felt a doofy grin spread across his face and it must've lessened her self-consciousness because she smiled back with a shrug.

"What a newlywed answer we have here!" the teen proclaimed. "Can't help themselves it seems."

Mulder looked over at him and shrugged earnestly, "I mean can you blame me? It's hard when you're married to the most beautiful woman."

He looked over at her in time to see her roll her eyes at his cheesiness that was currently earning a round of 'awwww's from the audience. Then, in a move of uncharacteristic flirtation, she looked at him and coyly stated, "Hmm, I don't know. I still think my answer's right."

They stared at each other for a good moment while the announcer made a joke, the contact was loaded.  _What do you mean by that_ was implicit in both their looks.

"Earth to the Mulders," a voice called out. They both looked over to see they were being gawked at. The teen turned to the audience and laughed, "They got a little too into that question didn't they?"

Mulder chuckled and began wiping his board as he listened him go on. "Okay, we're going to switch it up for a little while with the 'How well do they know each other questions'," he proclaimed.

"What is your spouse's birthday?"

 _Easy._ February 23rd, 1964. Despite her beliefs, he actually did remember her birthday. Every year. He knew every demographic piece of data about her ever since he looked in her file four years ago. The first year he didn't know how to bring it up, so he never did. She wasn't the type of woman to go around and proclaim 'hey, it's my birthday!" and he didn't know how to wish her happy birthday without admitting he'd memorized it. It felt a little creepy and he was just starting to think maybe she didn't think he was as spooky as everyone else seemed to think.

The second birthday he'd written a card, he'd spent an hour trying to decide on the perfect balance between sentimental and humorous, but he'd gotten a card with a whale on it. At the time it had seemed perfect, but then when she came in he could tell she was upset and halfway through the day he realized it was probably because it was the first birthday she was celebrating without her dad. The card was still in his desk.

Third time he'd gotten a present, a nice watch, and then she came in with a new black banned watch. A present from her mom. He gave it to the nice older woman he had to talk to whenever he needed to sign off on a rental car.

He flipped around the board and was happy to see surprise register on her face. "You remembered!" she beamed.

"Of course," he smiled.

"You didn't have to include the year though," she mumbled, flipping her board around to reveal 'October 13th'. Scully'd given him a card promptly every year on his birthday, smiley faces and well wishes galore.

"Looks like we have two correct answers! Next, what's your partner's favorite sex position?"

Mulder felt the tips of his ears redden and he was sure they matched Scully's face. He genuinely didn't even know how to guess with this one. He had absolutely  _no_  idea about any of Scully's sexual preferences, though he wished he did. He could spend a few minutes profiling her in an attempt to decide, but he'd rather not pop a boner while a spotlight was on him.

He knew Scully was assertive, so she'd be a woman to take charge. Feeling confident he wrote  _Cowgirl_  and hoped it wouldn't earn him a glare.

"How positive do you guys feel about your answers?" the announcer asked.

"Pretty confident," he nodded.

"Me too," she ribbed competitively.

They flipped them around at the same time and he raised an eyebrow when he saw she wrote missionary. "You think cowgirl's my favorite?" she asked skeptically.

"I uh, I thought it was better for you then," he laughed, unsure how to phrase his reasoning in this situation.

"Better in some places maybe, but not my knees," she laughed.

"But I can see you better," he teased.

She gave him a jovial, questioning look and asked, "So are you saying it's your favorite?"

"I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it very much," he laughed.  _In my dreams_ he added.

"Well, I prefer my answer, so it looks like we're both wrong," she teased.

_Scully liked missionary. Oddly fitting but something about her tone implied there may be other options she enjoyed as well._

The next few questions went by relatively fast since they were easier and less incriminating.

"Who's better at finances?"

_Her_

Me

"Who's more likely to get lost?"

_Him_

_Me_

"Who's in charge?"

_Both of us_

_Equal_

"Who's the bigger flirt?"

_Me, but only towards her_

_Him_

Then they went back to the long form questions and it couldn't have been a more telling question.

"When did you first know you were in love with your partner?"


	4. Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Here's the final installment!  
> Thank you as always to admiralty for beta-ing!

" _When did you first know you were in love with your partner?"_

Mulder felt his heart start beating rapidly in his chest. The other questions were answered honestly, but could be danced around. This was… telling, to say the least. He supposed it could just be a platonic, partnerly love. He loved her in many ways, after all. But he had a feeling they both knew they had been revealing too much in the undercurrent of truth in this game for a question like this to be dodged so easily.

Scully was sucking on her bottom lip as she stared at her board, clearly having the same struggle that he was. Subconsciously, Mulder already knew they were going to have to have an awkward conversation after this. A quick exchange where they dismissed everything with uncomfortable agreements that this had all been a game before continuing with their pattern of ignoring what was obvious between them.

Why not throw another log onto the fire and stamp it out later?

_The night of our first case together._

He'd thought about this question before, laying on his couch at night and thinking of her. An occurrence that happened more than he was proud to admit. But that's always the moment he was able to pin it down to. The moment she made it clear she trusted and, at least to some degree, believed him, and the moment he began really trusting her.

He fell and never came back.

"You both ready?" he heard the announcer call. He looked up and nodded while watching Scully quickly scribble down a few more words.

"Yep," she called out.

"Three-two-one."

_When he first confided in me._

Regardless of the fact it was the same evening as what he himself had written down, he couldn't believe it was that early in their partnership. He glanced up at her and caught her giving a shy smile in response to what he'd written. As happy as he was to see her answer, he felt the anxiety about their post-game conversation grew.

"How long ago was that for both of you?" the young man asked.

"A few years," Scully answered softly.

"A few years," he replied in kind.

"Well our next question is a bit in the same vein. What made you fall in love?" he asked.

This one was easy, as she reminded him why everyday she remained by his side. Erasing his last answer, he wrote in its place:  _She believes in me._

He thought he'd answered fast, but by the time he was done, Scully was already waiting for him expectantly. As soon as she saw he was ready, she flipped the board around.

_His compassion_

He flipped his and another smile broke out on her face her eyes slowly scanning the words he'd written. "Always," she murmured.

He looked back down at her answer and felt a surge of pride. Scully's opinion of him mattered greatly to him, and seeing her say something so complimentary boosted his confidence. "Are you sure it wasn't when you saw my sexy forearms?" he teased, breaking the tension.

The crowd laughed as Scully threw her head back. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Nope," he chuckled, enjoying watching her be so carefree and giggly, even if it was just for a night.

"Ooooh, we have another juicy one!" The boy proclaimed with annoying enthusiasm. "Where is a place you haven't made whoopie that you would like to?"

Mulder had still been looking at Scully when the kid was talking and he watched as her face changed from amusement to chagrin - him being the only one to fully recognize the change. They both sat in silence for a moment as they mentally tried to navigate the question.  _Anywhere_  was his real answer, but he couldn't write that. He didn't know which type of answers backed them into corners more, the sexually charged questions or the romantically charged ones.

He wrote down his answer and felt his palms grow sweaty and his knees grow weak. There were plenty of places he'd imagined on those same lonely nights he spent on his couch thinking about her. What it would be like storming to her apartment, catching her in her pyjamas and a sleepy smile, and just ravishing her. Or maybe what it would be like to slam the emergency button in the elevator and throw her against the wall. Sometimes he even imagined running his hand far up her skirt during business meetings with Skinner and the rest of the team. One of his favorites was a night hanging out in one of their motel rooms going too far.

But one setting in particular got him hot and bothered more than any. One that he just had to write down without even indulging the thought too much lest he pop a boner in front of people just trying to eat.

He ran his hands along the sides of the whiteboard anxiously, swallowing his anxiety down as he wondered if free pie would be worth the possible awkward tension this answer might cause.

By the look of Scully's flushed cheeks and averting eyes, he felt like she might be thinking the same thing. "You go first," he called out, wanting to have her answer as a buffer to his.

He watched her open her mouth, most likely to refute him, but she just let out a sigh instead and ripped off the Band-Aid by flipping around her board.

_In our office_

Mulder felt his mouth go dry, his head go faint, and all the blood in his body rush south.  _Holy fucking shit._ Without moving a muscle, barely acknowledging the audience's hoots and hollers, he turned his around.

_At work_

He watched as one of her eyebrows quirked up as her mouth dropped open slightly, a perfect visage of pleasant surprise. "Well," she whispered. He heard her perfectly despite the crowd growing even more raucous at the match.

"Wow, Scully. I'd never would have guessed all those expense reports you threw my way were actually come ons," he joked, trying to ignore the strain he heard in his voice.

"You know what they say," she shrugged. "Subtlety is an art form lost on man," she joked back.

He erased his answer while staring at her with amused surprise. "I hope you know I'm never going to be getting any work done ever again."

"Of course not, looks like there's something else you guys need to check off your bucket list first," the kid crassly teased.

Scully widened her eyes in mock disapproval of the kid as she shook her head playfully at Mulder. "Oh my god," she mouthed, laughing lightly. He smiled back and felt a pleasant warmth radiate through his body.

"We only have a few questions left before we have to call an end, but can we have a quick round of applause for the Mulders for being such good sports!"

A smatter of applause erupted from the audience as Mulder and Scully goodnaturedly gestured to the other. The applause died down after a moment or two as the announcer cleared his throat. "Okay, okay. Here's a juicy one. Does your partner get jealous easily?"

He tried to think back to a time in the past four years where Scully had been markedly possessive or jealous. He already knew the answer she'd be writing down without a second thought. She called him territorial in the first month of working together and he didn't even have the energy to deny her claim. And that was just one of the times he was a little more blunt about it, he didn't even want to know if she picked up on every time he got jealous of a man she was paying attention to.

But Scully? Was she really jealous when it came to him and oth-.

Then, like a bolt of lightning to his brain, he remembered one Disney-named entomologist that he knew for a fact made Scully's blood boil.

_Yes_

When he made eye contact with Scully, her brows furrowed in what looked like unsure disbelief. He shrugged playfully at her, which prompted her to boldly turn her board around, revealing a highly emphasized:

**ABSOLUTELY**

The crowd laughed at her intense response and the moderator asked, "Is that so, Mr. Mulder?"

She raised a challenging eyebrow at him and he just shrugged in concession. "Absolutely." The crowd laughed again, but he was busy focusing on the endeared smile Scully was trying to hide. For a moment he wondered if she  _liked_  the fact he was territorial. He'd always presumed it aggravated her, like he was overstepping a boundary by being overtly possessive. But that smile on her face indicated she didn't seem to mind.

He realized attention was on him, so he reflexively turned his board around, causing Scully's face to light up in shock. "I am not!" she exclaimed with a laugh.

"Are too," he replied confidently.

"Name a time," she challenged.

"Bambi," he confidently lilted.

She looked like a deer caught in headlights, absolutely not expecting that to be said. "Oooooh, Bambi, sounds hot," the kid boasted, causing Scully to roll her eyes. "Did Bambi make you jealous, Mrs. Mulder?"

Scully looked him straight in the eye, and with a smirk, boldly answered, "She did."

He'd been taking a risk calling her out on it, but he was glad he did. If not just for the simple boost of pride he got in knowing that Scully was, at least in some regard, territorial of him.

"What is the most embarrassing thing you have done around your spouse?" the sound of the announcer's voice rang out, making him jump in surprise - not quite yet done registering the notion of a jealous Scully.

He looked down at his board and began wiping away his prior answer idly. Maybe this was presumptuous of him, but he didn't really think they had a relationship where they got embarrassed. He'd seen Scully drop yogurt down the front of her blouse, trip over her own feet more times than he could even count, she'd even walked in on him while he was changing, yet all moments were brushed off with laughter and jokes. He was pretty certain she would probably feel the same.

Except when he looked up to check on her, she already had an answer ready and was waiting patiently. "I always knew you have no shame," she joked, smiling to let him know she was only teasing.

He chuckled in response and wrote the only thing that came to mind.

_Fall on my ass (many times)_

He turned his answer around to face her, and the smirk stayed on her face. "I find it endearing," she replied with a shrug.

"What about you, Mrs. Mulder?"

The smile faltered on her face as she looked down to her board. "Wait, I want to change my answer."

"No! That's against the rules!" Mulder declared, pointing his board towards her.

"There are no rules to this game!" she laughed back, trying desperately to find where she'd put her marker, too frantic to realize it was in her hand.

"Let us see, Mrs. Mulder," the announcer drew out jokingly.

Scully rolled her eyes and flipped her board around, lifting it high enough so that it covered her face.

_Fart._

The crowd roared with laughter as Mulder tried to repress his beaming smile. "No you haven't," he refuted, genuinely not recalling a time she'd ever farted around him.

She let her board fall back down, revealing a pink blush had spread across her cheeks. "I always blame it on you. I say yours lingered," she admitted with an embarrassed chuckle.

He put a hand on his chest and smiled at her. "Aww, Scully. I never knew you were comfortable enough to fart around me. I'm touched."

"Shut up, Mulder," she laughed, erasing the answer.

"Okay everyone. Time for the final question." There was a boo-ing sound from the audience and they shot each other a look of surprise, confused that people were interested enough in their answers to want to hang around.

"I know, I know, but all good things must come to an end. Now, Mulders, your final question is: What is your spouse's favorite, cute pet name for you?"

The obvious answer would be last names, but 'cute' made that a little tricky. He couldn't really imagine calling Scully a nickname without some sort of repercussion, and he couldn't imagine her using a pet name on him.  _What would Scully call him? '_ Sweetheart' was too unlike her. He couldn't imagine her seeing 'baby' as fitting. 'Babe,' maybe? This was hard, he looked up and noticed Scully was biting her lip and staring intently at her board. They didn't do pet names.

_Darling._

He didn't  _really_  see Scully calling him that, but he knew she liked British period pieces and old novels. Plus, the thought of her saying it to him was pretty hot.

Scully seemed to notice he was finished and quickly scribbled something on her board, sending him a look that signified she also had to guess.

_Baby._

Of all the names he could imagine calling Scully, he would have been sure 'baby' would be the name that would cause him the most bodily harm for attempting. He'd chosen one he wanted to hear. Did she do the same?

"Good choice,  _baby,"_ he drew out.

A playful smirk tugged on her lips as she motioned for him to show his answer.

"Darling?" the announcer chuckled.

"You know my so well,  _darling,"_  she praised jokingly.

"Mr. and Mrs. Mulder, could you please come to the front of the stage so we can all give you a proper round of applause," the kid asked before taking a few steps away as the lights above them came on.

He looked over and offered his hand out to Scully who surprisingly took it with nothing more than a gentle eye-roll. They walked up to the stage hand-in-hand and stood there awkwardly as the audience applauded them for embarrassing themselves in the name of free pie.

Speaking of which, the announcer held out a piece of paper to Scully who flipped it back over so they could both read it.

FREE PIE FOR ONE YEAR. ENDS APRIL 12TH.

His beaming smile faltered slightly when someone in the audience yelled "Kiss her!"

Mulder looked at Scully for permission, but was shocked to see she was already raising herself on her toes, her gaze focused solely on his lips while avoiding his eyes nervously. Ignoring the way his heart was beating out of his chest, he closed the gap, bringing one hand up to cup the side of her face.

The first thing he noticed was that he could still feel the remnants of her chapstick on her lips, the second was that he could feel the way she sucked in a quick breath through her nose as soon as his lips touched hers, and the third was how warm she felt against his lips. How many times had he imagined what it would feel like to kiss her? Somehow it was all he'd dreamed and more.

Scully, clearly not wanting to give this diner full of strangers any more of a show than they'd already had, lowered herself back down while biting back a grin. This time, however, her eyes flickered up to his and he could see the same sentiment he felt reflected in their depths.  _Wow._

He heard the announcer going into the technicalities about whatever the confusing score was as the entire diner bustled back to life. Everyone that had been playing now gathering their stuff to leave. Mulder guided her back to their table with a gentle hand on the small of her back. A few people congratulated them along the way and told them how cute they were, but aside from a few brief 'thank yous', they still hadn't spoken.

When they finally found their table, Scully turned around to say something to him, only to have her gaze wander beyond his shoulder as her eyes widened.

He heard the source of her expression before he had a chance to turn around. "So when were you going to tell your mother about your nuptials?" the voice of Margaret Scully rang out.

"Uh-Mom!" Scully exclaimed in shock.

"Hello, Mrs. Scully," he beamed, turning around and accepting the woman's hug.

"Hello, Fox. Or is son-in-law better?" she teased with a firm squeeze.

"Well, Mulder would be best, but we were just playing the game, Mom," Scully began, playing with her fingernails like she did whenever she was nervous.

"Yeah, we were just pretending. Scully was helping me get the prize Free Pie coupon," he explained, holding it up.

"Please don't be offended by my relief," Mrs. Scully said with a small huff of laughter as she clutched her chest in exaggeration. "I think you both would make a lovely couple. I would just hate to think you wouldn't tell me.  _Especially_  about something so big."

"Trust me, if I ever asked for Scully's hand in marriage, I'd make sure to ask your permission," he joked. It didn't land like he'd hoped it would though. Scully shot him a look that, if vocalized, probably equated to 'I'm not property'. While on the other hand, Mrs. Scully looked like he'd just made a promise.

"H-How long have you been here, Mom?" Scully stammered nervously. Her question made his ears burn red as he realized the intimate, embarrassing questions she may have heard.

"Let's just say I won't be visiting your office anytime soon," Mrs. Scully teased.

He heard Scully groan as he quickly squeaked, "We were just kidding!"

Mrs. Scully laughed at their mutual embarrassment and squeezed both their arms lovingly. "I'm joking," she reassured them. She adjusted her purse and looked like she was about to go when she admitted one last thing. "I must say though, it was very convincing. You two seemed like a perfect couple up there. I mean, you even had me convinced."

"Thanks, Mom," Scully deadpanned, clearly wishing that comment had been saved for a different conversation. One that presumably didn't involve him standing right there.

The both watched as Mrs. Scully left, a heavy tension taking her place. He turned to Scully and noticed her grabbing her coat and purse, avoiding eye contact. "You don't want to redeem any pie tonight?" he asked, trying to let his disappointment come out too much.

"I'm beat, Mulder. Do you care if you take me back to my apartment?" she asked before awkwardly adding. "And drop me off there?"

Mulder could tell she was nervous. Probably thinking that he wouldn't let her live this down, or that things would be awkward from here on out because of what they'd said. Despite every inch of him wanting to ask if she felt what he did back there. He wasn't going to push her. "Of course. Yeah, and-um thank you for doing all that for me."

"No problem," she replied with a small smile, walking next to him as they left the diner. "But I hope you know that's my coupon too. I helped earn that. You better be prepared to see a lot more of me," she joked.

"Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much again, Brandy!!!  
> I remember you said you wanted a story where:  
> \- they are forced to pretend to be a couple  
> \- early msr  
> \- Mulder calls Scully "baby"  
> \- feature Maggie Scully

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, I have a few already, but I mean, you guys ARE THE AUDIENCE, so what pressing questions would you like to have answered? ;)


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